[this post inaugurates a new series where CRAIGADAMUS predicts the future of poetry in 2009 and beyond]
Elizabeth Alexander will inaugurate a new movement of poetry called the School O’Bamatude. School O’Bamatude poets will win all awards and prizes, finally overthrowing The School O’Quietude. Seth Abramson will be jealous that I named the new movement, even though I don’t know what ‘aesthetics’ mean. With fierce logic, Seth will try to be original by re-naming the School O’Bamatude as ‘Behavioral-Historical-Patriotic-Structural Poetry’. Seth will use Joshua Beckman as an example of this poetry.
Graywolf will have to be bailed out by the Federal Government because they invested all their money in making a million chapbooks of Alexander’s poem, which no one will buy. Alexander will cry realizing that people will not remember her poem, but everyone will remember: “[when] black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead man, and when white will embrace what is right.”
Kenneth Goldsmith and Kent Johnson will have their tear ducts replenished after they wept during the entirety of Alexander’s poem because they realized that they will never be asked to be inaugural poets.
Goldsmith will dream tonight that he is the inaugural poet: he will be wearing his hat with a sparkly bow twice the size of Aretha Franklin’s bow and he will recite a transcript of the CNN coverage of the Inauguration. He will wake up from this dream screaming “Graywolf! Uncreative! Money Power and Fame!”
Kent Johnson will not dream tonight because he will not sleep. He will realize that the inaugural poet will now forever be racialized as an African American woman. He will feverishly study poetry by African American women and he will write a book mimicking the style and subject of African American women. His book will be titled “Lyric Poetry After Amistad”. He will publish this book under the name “Kentrina Johnson”. The book will be hailed as the best School O’Bamatude Book of the year. It will win the National Book Award and The Pulitzer. Although this should make Kent happy, he will be jealous that Ben Lerner will win the Nobel (in Science) for his new book titled “The Copenhagen Interpretation”. However, Kent’s dreams will come true when Obama announces that “Kentrina Johnson” will be his inaugural poet for his second term. Kent will attend the event in Black Face, wig, and body suit to read his Praise Song. The hoax will never be discovered.
Ron Silliman will link to this post.