–by October 31, 2009, Linh Dinh will publish his 300th post at the Harriet blog. On November 1, 2009, the Harriet blog will be renamed the “Linharriet” blog. sadly, Linh will not receive a dime for his harrowing efforts. happily, Linh will post various series of translations: 7 Poets from the Romanian, 7 poets from Swahili, 7 poets from Urdu, 7 poets from the Nahuatl, and 7 poets from Catalan. All of which he would have translated himself (don’t hate! the man’s a genius!)
–it will take 5 years for Wanda Coleman to fulfill her Harriet contract. each post will not be longer than a paragraph. and no one will ever comment.
–because the Harriet blog is like being in the high school library where all the kinda-nerdy-cool kids hang out, the blog will have a poll where you can vote for certain categories. the winners will be:
best hair: Javier Huerta
most likely to succeed: Rigoberto Gonzalez
most annoying: Michael Robbins
most talkative: Kent Johnson
best dressed: Olena Davis
most likely to change the world: Mark Nowak
cutest couple: Kenneth Goldsmith and Henry Gould
–one day, the white people who run the Linharriet blog will be toasting their inclusiveness–praising how they managed to include one latino/a, one african american, one asian american, one overseas white, and one at home white poet in every rotation. and yes, at least one will be gay and one will be avant. after a couple bottles of wine, one of them will drunkenly exclaim: “maybe we should have an indigenous blogger!” they will all laugh. then there will be a grave silence. and then, as if an ancestor entered the room, they will hear a whisper: “Craig Santos Perez”. the very next day, they will contact “Craig Santos Perez” and offer to pay him to blog on Linharriet. “Craig Santos Perez” will happily accept the offer. When he receives the dirty money, he will buy all of Anne Boyer’s books.